Entering the Darkest Time of Year, and the Yearning for Gifts of Light; Are There Any Gifts We Can Give Each Other to Help Us Survive the Coming Years?

Both politically and seasonally, we’re entering the darkest time of year for those of us in the northern hemisphere and the US. The winter solstice is this week, along with several other seasonal and spiritual holidays. And in the next year, next month, a new political reality arises, filled with so many unknowns and threats, threats that might convince us to physically or emotionally emigrate from the new reality in the US. So, are there any gifts we can give each other to help us survive the coming years? And to find the awareness, the strength to better perceive opportunities for appropriate action and better take care of ourselves and our loved ones?

 

I would like to suggest a different sort of holiday gift, a gift of resources, programs to listen to, books to read, different emotions to share to strengthen ourselves, our friends and others. The first is difficult right now for many of us⎼ gratitude. With so many threats and unknowns staring us in the face, we might ask what do we have to be grateful for?

 

I was driving home earlier in the week listening to Here and Now on NPR, and there was an interview with Monica Bartlett, Professor of Psychology of the Positive Emotion and Social Behavior Lab at Ganzaga University. She spoke about how gratitude can be healing in times when we’re frightened and feel isolated and powerless. We all share a negativity bias. We tend to think first about our safety, more about what might hurt us than what might uplift us. And this negativity just enhances our fear. In contrast, when we feel gratitude, we feel more powerful and capable. And when we care for others, it’s easier to feel cared for.

 

Professor Bartlett suggests practices like pausing near the end of the day and writing down 3 things we’re grateful for, no matter how small, and recognizing who we interacted with or why that event happened. This can include a person we know well, or the person at the supermarket who showed us where to find what we were looking for, or a pet. Their research showed such a simple practice highlights the connections between ourselves and others, the good others bring to our lives, and the power in relationships to better the world.

 

Then there’s compassion⎼ it’s such a powerful source for freeing ourselves of suffering. One day as I was meditating on compassion, by doing a Buddhist practice of taking a moment to stop what I’m doing, sit down in a quiet space, and saying to myself “may I be happy, may X be happy. May I be healthy, may X be healthy. May I be at peace, may X be at peace. May all beings be free of suffering.” And I just felt the breathing, in and out. And suddenly, my problems, worries, and plans stopped repeating themselves in my mind. There was a silence so deep no thoughts appeared, yet nothing was missing.

 

Compassion goes beyond empathy, to not only recognize the suffering of others, or myself, but a readiness to act to reduce that suffering. Meditation teacher Sharon Salzberg points out it’s the opposite of passivity. It readies us to act in recognition of our interdependence, our shared presence in the world, and for the benefit of all. Of doing whatever we feel ready to do, to help a neighbor in need, or to support or start a political action to help millions in need.

 

A third recommendation returns us to the healing power of a pet, or to the bond with or care for another being…

 

*To read the whole post, please go to The Good Men Project.

More Is Being Asked of Us Now Than Possibly Ever Before in Our Lives: We Strive, Not Yet Knowing How, Not Yet Knowing If We’ll Succeed. All We Know is the Need to Act

How do we read the signs that the world and our own hearts and minds are giving us? The universe doesn’t just text us one, clearly typed message, explaining all we’re facing. Would we even welcome such a message? Maybe we do get such messages sometimes and aren’t sure if we’re hallucinating it?

 

I’ve been reading Being-Time: A Practitioner’s Guide to Dogen’s Shobogenzo Uji, by Shinshu Roberts, and just started to alternate it with Seaglass: A Jungian Analyst’s Exploration of Suffering and Individuation, by Gilda Frantz. Dogen is a 13th Century Zen teacher and founder of one of the main schools of Japanese Buddhism. I usually read only 2-4 pages at a time, because each paragraph is like a puzzle requiring considerable reflection. But the beauty that can be discovered in doing so is immense. Frantz’s book was recommended by 2 Facebook friends. It’s been a remarkable find, of essays, personal stories, and interviews about facing the difficult in life and revealing the myths and motivations that drive us.

 

And yesterday, after reading a little in both books, a deep realization, frightening in its scope, grabbed my mind and challenged my emotions. Both books synchronistically seemed to be sending one message, a message of something being asked, no, demanded of me. Something more than I’ve already given, to the world, to myself. It was less a regret for something left undone than a glimpse into an opportunity⎼ if I could take it. Frightening in the risks involved, both in the doing or undoing.

 

There’s a sense of inevitability posed by life in these times, hidden between news reports and the sounds of rain. Between bare tree branches, deep gray clouds, and the feel of tension in my hands and shoulders. Between the ordinary, the known, and the extraordinary and unknown. And a question⎼ We know we must act. But how?

 

More is being asked of all of us than probably ever before in our lives. No matter how much I might want this not to be so, that is the reality. We must let go of so much of what’s normal to our lives so we can do what the times require of us. What our inner selves demand of us.

 

How do  we change our lives internally so we can respond skillfully to the fear DT incites and manipulates in us? To the assault on our values and humanity? How do we respond to his blatant assaults on our security as a people and a nation? To our health care? To our incomes? To threats of deporting immigrants of color, from Latin America? Threats to LGBTQ+? To anyone who opposes him? To the rule of law? How do we respond to the expanding climate and ecological crises?

 

How do I feel less the me isolated from the rest of us, and more of the rest of us in me? Doing so might not only reveal how to help others, and maybe help others realize what they, too, can do, but inspire or expose unseen depths in myself. I want to meditate even more than I do. To learn more than I know. To do more.

 

To help me do this, I plan to read poets and writers from Ukraine, Gaza, Israel, and the US, about how to face the horrors caused by one group of humans against others. Or read writers from the distant past, in ancient China when the social order had collapsed, or even in Ukraine or Eastern Europe, in the villages where my own family might have once lived⎼ so we can feel any horrors of life can be faced, and the strength in ourselves to act can be found….

 

 

*To read the whole article, please click on this link to The Good Men Project.

Looking Within as an Act of Defiance and Sanity: Don’t Make the Mistake of Strengthening Our Opponent Before We Fight Their Actions

Over Thanksgiving, I saw the movie Conclave with close friends. It was a wonderful film. Without giving up too much of the plot to those who haven’t seen it yet, one of my favorite scenes was a pivotal, impromptu speech by the Bishop of Kabul, responding to a previous Bishop who spoke about a supposed threat from Muslims and terrorists to Christianity. The Bishop of Kabul said;

 

What is it you think we’re fighting?

Do you think it’s those deluded men

who had carried out these terrible acts today?

No, my brother.

 

The thing you’re fighting is here…

inside each and every one of us…

 

The idea of the enemy within has a long history, not only in Christianity but Islam, Judaism, etc. It’s often referring, as the Bishop of Kabul did later in his speech, to feeling hate.

 

The phrase has also been used by politicians to serve their purpose of manipulating public opinion and public psychology with fear, anger, as well as hate. Joe McCarthy used the phrase to stir up fear and hatred of Communists, claiming without evidence “Commies” had infiltrated and were taking over our government. DT used the phrase to increase suspicion, fear, and hatred of brown and black immigrants, Democrats, and his other opponents.

 

I’d like to use the term in a slightly different way. I’d use it to describe what the fear of DT, misdirected by DT and others like him, might unleash in us. But ‘enemy’ might distort the issue. The fear is very real, but it can both undermine or enlighten us. When we view the emotion with compassion for all we’re going through, it can get us to look within as an act of defiance and sanity.

 

Most of us realize he threatens literally everything. Certainly, the environmental protections would go, which would not only undermine our health, our clean air and water, but undermine the future of humans and other species on our planet.

 

DT also threatens the rule of law, our right to vote, to speak out, make our own health care decisions, etc. His appointment first of Matt Gaetz and then Pam Bondi for Attorney General illustrates that he has chosen people not for competence or their care for the general welfare of all of us. He’s chosen those he knows will do his bidding, like dismantling the DOJ infrastructure and arresting his opponents. Once laws are made to serve one-man’s interests, the interests of the rest of us are dismissed. No longer could we rely on the law to address injustices of all kinds, including being deported for one’s race or ethnicity, or to address sexist policies, being ripped off financially, dangerous work conditions, etc.

 

Fear and confusion can create hopelessness and withdrawal. I’ve seen it in others and felt it in myself. We might want to turn off the news, or immigrate to another country or to another universe of distractions. And this might be become necessary for us. Some say, “there’s nothing I can do.” Others claim small actions are a waste of time. These responses, while understandable, can cede too much power to the would-be white nationalist dictator.

 

Actions like calling Congress to oppose DT’s cabinet picks or prevent  H.R. 9495⎼ the Stop Terror Financing and Tax Penalties on Hostages Act ⎼which would stop organizations that speak out and oppose him⎼ from passing in the Senate are necessary….

 

 

*To read the whole article, please go to The Good Men Project.