Befriending Yourself And Creating A Mindful Learning Community

One of the most valuable lessons a teacher can teach is how to be a friend to yourself and to others. You teach this when your classroom functions as a mindful learning community and when students cooperate in their own education. It needs to be taught both through modeling by the teacher as well as through designed lessons.

 

Before giving these practices to students, practice them yourself. They must be real to you in order for you to make them real to others. And then close your eyes and hold in your mind and heart an image of your students doing the exercise. Notice if you feel comfortable leading the students. If you feel discomfort, is it because you are not yet ready, or the students?

 

For too many of our children, unconditional love, and a sense of security and safety, are more of a yearning than a reality. They need to learn how to be kind, compassionate and non-judgmental to themselves so they can more easily show it to others, and the classroom provides a golden opportunity to practice this.

 

A Classroom Practice of Mindful Questioning and Inquiry

 

After you enter the classroom and greet students, you might ask:

 

What do you want from a friend? What does the word ‘friend’ mean to you? 

 

Then ask students if they would like to go deeper with this question. If they answer affirmatively, ask them to sit up comfortably and close their eyes partly or fully. Then:

 

Gently, place your attention on your breath. Breathe in, letting your body expand, be nourished by the air. Then breathe out, noticing what it’s like to let go of the air, tension, and settle down. Do that for another breath or two.

 

Then think of the word ‘Friend.’ What words describe for you what being a friend means or what marks a person as a true friend? What thoughts, images, feelings? Simply notice what arises and move on to the next word or breath.

 

Think of any books you’ve read or movies you’ve seen that describe a good friendship.What characters come to mind? What makes him or her a friend? How does one friend treat another?

 

Take one more breath and then return your attention to the classroom.

 

Write down what you heard or saw in your mind.

 

With the whole class, or in small groups, let students share what they feel comfortable sharing about the experience. List on the chalkboard the words that students say they associate with being a friend.

 

What marks someone as a friend? Did honesty come to you? Care? Stimulating conversation? Loyalty?

 

Loyalty can be a mixed bag. You don’t want yes-men or women. You don’t want fakes. Do you do want someone who values who you are, not who they want you to be? Do you want someone who will think of your well-being as being as important as their own?….

 

To read the whole post, go to Mindfulteachers.org.

 

The Day Is Coming

Or maybe I should say the day has come. Yesterday afternoon, the Mueller Report was turned over to Attorney General William Barr. With it goes the hopes and fears of practically all of us. With it goes the possibility of resurrecting democracy in this nation or ending it. With it goes, possibly, our future as a species.

 

Not that this one report will be or could be so decisive. It is not the report, no matter what it says, that will be decisive. It is how we the people of this nation, and world, respond that is most important.

 

Barr has said he will first read the report and decide what will be released. And the GOP and T are using this release to push the narrative that T has been vindicated. CNN reported that one person at the White House said “’We won’ and the campaign has been absolved because there weren’t any charges related to conspiracy or obstruction.” A Trump campaign adviser told CNN: “It’s a great day for America…” No further indictments have been called for (supposedly) and the RNC is putting a positive spin on the release.

 

Hearing “no further indictments” even from the GOP makes my heart drop through the floor. For over two years not only have we heard reports, but we have seen evidence right before our eyes of our supposed President selling out and harming or endangering our country.

 

We have also heard about Mueller, about how competent he is and how in-depth his investigation is going. Without intending to do so, many of us have created Mueller as almost a savior image. We began to expect he will save us from a would-be dictator. But can such weight be placed on any one person or group? And are our hopes well placed? As the decisions for the release of his report come near, we can’t help but feel anxious. Will our hopes and expectations prove true?

 

But no matter what the report reveals, or what we are told the report contains, we have to remember what we have heard and seen first-hand. I probably don’t need to remind most people of the President’s tweets and comments in support of Russia, in favor of cutting sanctions (for example, cutting sanctions on Oleg Deripaska, a close associate of Putin) and according to Admiral Rogers, the head of the U. S. Cyber Command, T failed to even ask NSA how to protect our election system from hackers.

 

For example, remember July 27th, 2016, T publicly asked for Russia to find for him Hillary’s missing emails. This followed the June 9, 2016, meeting with D. T. Jr, Manafort and Jared Kushner in Trump Tower with a Russian lawyer and lobbyist to collect dirt from Russia on Hillary Clinton. According to the Washington Post, five days later Russian hackers penetrated the DNC computers. On July 22nd, the stolen emails were published by WikiLeaks.

 

On May 10, 2017, after firing Comey, T told Russian officials that firing Comey relieved the great pressure on him from the Russian investigation. In Helsinki, while standing next to Vladimir Putin, T sided with Putin against our own intelligence agencies, claiming the Russian dictator spoke strongly in denial of the claim Russia interfered in the 2016 election.  The President even went so far as to take away or tear up the notes of his private discussions with Putin.

 

So what can we do? Or what must we do? We can take a deep breath and determine the best things we can do for furthering democracy, and caring for ourselves, our families and neighbors. We must definitely remember not only what T has said but what he has done to isolate the U. S. from our allies, further inequity, support bigotry, attack women, and children, and undermine the rule of law, public education, voting rights, justice, health care and environmental protections. To attack our compassion and sense of common humanity. We must do what we can to try to discern what is true from the lies and misdirection. If we can remember Presidents who at least usually spoke the truth, did not threaten violence if he lost the election or did not put his own economic interests before the nation’s interest, we must do so.

 

We must do whatever we can to help bring people together and create enough pressure to force our government to do their job and act to support democracy. To force the release of the report and to continue the investigations. We can, at least, call Congress, write or sign petitions, support lawsuits for the release of the report, and protest on the streets. And we can work for Democratic candidates and getting out voters in the next election. We can’t afford to sit idly on the sidelines.

 

How Can We Determine What to do with Our Lives?

We just don’t know. We live surrounded by so many unknowns that if we think about it, we might never do anything. When we’re in high school or college, for example, we might not know what we’ll do after we graduate, or if we’ll get a good job. We might not even know what we want to happen. But in reality, that is the lesson. We don’t know. Yet we have to act nevertheless.

 

Some deal with this by selecting a theory, belief or desire for what will happen and treat it as a fact. We tell ourselves and anyone who will listen how we will do on the next exam or who will win the next election or baseball game. Facing something or someone you know is usually easier to do than facing the unknown, (think about driving your car in some place you don’t know without GPS or google maps) especially if the known is shaped in our favor. Thinking positively is helpful. It makes us feel stronger. If we are taking a test or going on a job interview, we are more likely to succeed if we feel we can succeed.

 

Some of us perpetually do the reverse. We fear failure so much we don’t even try to succeed. Or we try to win by labeling ourselves as losers before anyone else can do so.

 

But if we delude ourselves into thinking we know what we don’t, we close our mind. This might serve as a temporary comfort or rest from something that frightens or stresses us, which can be helpful. But if we pretend we are finished learning when we’re just beginning, then we stop learning.

 

After I graduated from college, I went into the Peace Corps. When I returned, I was a bit lost. I tried traveling, writing, acting, psychology, teaching and decided to get a MAT in teaching English. After graduate school and a few years in education, I got lost once again, and tried out a few more areas of interest, like the martial arts and meditation.

 

At that time in my life, it was difficult to separate fantasy and desire from legitimate paths to a career. It was difficult to face a fear of failure and fully commit to any possible job. For example, I made a far-out proposal to a university that they introduce a new class in their education program.  The class would teach theatre improvisation techniques to teachers, both to improve their skills and to use with students to teach course material. However, I never expected a reply to my proposal. But I got one. A Professor wrote to me. There was no job opening at the moment, but he would like to talk with me about my idea. Because he said there was no job opening, I never went to speak with him. Later, I realized that was a legitimate opportunity lost.

 

But emerging from each moment of being lost was a clarity about one thing: I wanted to do something meaningful, steady, and creative….

 

To read the whole post, go to The Good Men Project.

Facing the Nightmare: The Threat that is Trump

On Wednesday, February 27, to conclude his testimony to Congress, Michael Cohen said: “Given my experience working for Mr. Trump I fear that if he loses the election in 2020 that there will never be a peaceful transition of power…” Cohen’s revelations of Trump as possibly threatening the government, the constitution and rule of law with violence, affirms what many of us have suspected ever since he was elected, but it is frightening to see our fears stated so bluntly by someone who knows Trump so well.

 

Cohen is not the first to speak of this threat. Roger Stone warned America in 2017 of “insurrection” if Trump is impeached. Politico reported that Stone said, “Try to impeach him. Just try it. You will have a spasm of violence in this country, an insurrection like you’ve never seen.” This is probably another example of Stone’s political theatre. But, in case anyone still holds the illusion that Trump and most of his supporters value democracy or our constitution, think again. They will do anything they can to intimidate and confuse us.

 

This is, of course, part of the nightmare that is Trump. In 2018, he warned of violence if the GOP lost the midterm elections. When he said this, there was no proof of any planned violence by anyone. So, was he just stressing the stakes for his supporters, saying his opponents will “overturn everything” if the GOP lose Congress? Or was this an attempt to intimidate or to warn Democrats of what he was capable of doing?

 

Was he, as an article by Jonathan Chait in the Intelligencer wrote in November 2018, “tantalizing his supporters with the prospect of bloodshed”? He has often threatened and tried to dehumanize or encourage violence against those who oppose him, labeling them, us, as the “resistance mob” or the “radical resistance.”  …

 

If we want any chance of a future with a substantive choice at the ballot box, or elections without threats of violence, our first priority must not be to support whomever will promise our most dreamed of policies. We must support the candidate who is most likely to defeat Trump and what he stands for.

 

To read the whole post, please go to The Good Men Project.

#Me-Too Can Awaken Us to the Humanity of Others

We need a better education, in this country, in how to face our own inner reality, to know ourselves with honesty, and to know the role other people and our world play in knowing ourselves.  For example, we might grow up thinking our happiness lies primarily with what we own or how much money we have, so we are never satisfied with what we have. Or we think true power results from control over others, so we never feel in control of ourselves. We look externally to satisfy what requires us to look internally.

 

I hope I’m not simply projecting, but I think #Me-Too is now being taken by more men I know not as an attack on them, but as a way of waking us up to the reality of the women we relate to. By awakening to the reality of others, we wake to the reality of ourselves. As long as we men see women primarily in terms of our own needs and projections, we will always be dissatisfied with our relationships with women. As long as we try to feel strong, or create a secure, satisfying relationship by controlling our partner, whomever she or he is, we will never feel strong, secure or satisfied.

 

As long as we think of those we love, instead of our own inner emotional nature, is the source of our love and excitement, we will always feel somewhat controlled by the other, and powerless. And some kind of dissatisfaction, even resentment or anger, will develop and undermine our loving….

 

We might think that by destroying the power of others we increase our own power. But by doing so we develop an addiction. We think we are so weak that we can only feel powerful when others are powerless. We grow dependent on weakness. So we need stronger and stronger hits of the drug of weakness and delusion. We grow more and more incapable of looking at the world directly or clearly….

 

To read the whole post, go to The Good Men Project.